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The 6 Most Horrifying Pets We've Bred Into Existence

The Earth is populated by so many different animals that we're still learning about many of them. Suffice it to say, we naturally have such a diverse array of creatures that we surely don't need to be making up new ones. But that doesn't stop humanity from breeding a bunch of bizarre creatures into existence every now and then just to keep around the house, with the following Pokemon rejects being the horrible price we're now paying for our hubris:

#6. Dwarf Horses

Nature's design for the horse is pretty good to begin with, but with enough money and hard work, it would be possible to make it stronger, hardier, faster ... you know, better. Instead, some people have made a concerted effort to make a version that appears like a cross between a warthog and a Troll Doll, also known as the dwarf or miniature horse:

We're serious right now: It's damn near impossible to find a picture where they don't look depressed or tired from mocking natural selection with every second of their existence. The mini horses are literally dwarfs, created by the passing of the equine dwarfism gene. Perhaps the plan was to breed a proportioned, smaller version of a regular horse (for which we would pay 20 buttloads of dollars), but instead the animals ended up with grossly enlarged heads and a dark wonderland of health problems, including complicated births and leg deformities.

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Mini dwarf horses have been known as a particularly "calm" breed, although we think people are confusing calmness with the horses' constant, paralyzing fear that they'll be attacked and eaten by an elderly, arthritic coyote.

#5. Giant Rabbits

Humans have been breeding giant rabbits for about 500 years now, and today these Hulk versions of Peter Rabbit can measure more than four feet and weigh up to 50 pounds, which they'll swear up and down is the result of genetics, but it might have something to do with their diet. In a single day, one of the largest of the continental giant rabbits will eat 12 carrots, a third of a cabbage, some apples, and two bowls rabbit feed.

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Sadly, as awesome as these floppy-eared mini-kaiju seem, their gigantism is actually pretty debilitating. Flopsy Jumbo will probably live to be only 5 or 6 years old, while Flopsy Normal can reach 8 or 12 years of age. He will also suffer from heart issues, the inability to clean his own ass, and swollen feet that may lead to a sedentary life of overeating and morbid obesity.

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#4. Pygmy Chickens

SultanIdy/Wiki Commons

You'll need to look at that for a moment to get a sense of scale -- that's a fully grown chicken that can fit in the palm of your hand. The tiny serama chicken is one of Asia's earliest attempts at miniaturization, before they decided that shrinking down electronics would probably be more profitable. Originating in Malaysia, an adult serama rooster can weigh as little as three-quarters of a pound -- less than your average pigeon -- making it the smallest breed of chicken in the world.

Deborah Coulter
Still, there's enough meat here to make, like, 50 chicken McNuggets.

The birds are known in Malaysian as ayam cantik, or "pretty chickens," which would be super creepy if the serama was bred strictly for eating. Fortunately, they have mostly found use as family pets and contestants at chicken beauty pageants -- technically the less disturbing alternative to fetishizing your dinner by calling it "pretty." The chickens have been around for only about 50 years, but they have already become prized for their proud soldier-like stance and walk. Sadly, it's just false bravado, as the small stature of the pygmy chicken makes it very easy prey for other animals like cats and even rats.

#3. Mitten Cats

Roham Sheikholeslami/Flickr

Look at its feet.

Technically known as polydactyl cats, these adorable freaks of nature are felines born with extra toes (and, presumably, the desire to murder Spanish sword-makers). Now, your usual cat will have 18 digits -- 10 in the front and eight in the back -- but a polydactyl animal can sport anywhere between 19 and 28 dispensers of scratchy death. This often includes an un-opposable "thumb," which a poly cat would constantly use to sarcastically "like" your life failures, if cats gave half a shit about humans.

Polydactylism is the result of a genetic anomaly which we've been selectively breeding into our pets for years because d'aaaaaw! Look at their little mitten hands! Even the likes of Teddy Roosevelt and Ernest Hemingway fell victim to the poly cat's adorableness, with Hemingway keeping close to 25 of them at his island home off Key West, where their descendants live to this day. That's why poly cats are occasionally known as "Hemingway cats."

#2. Ghost Koi

Dragon carp, also called longfin and butterfly koi, are fish that have been bred to have fins that make them look like the ghost of Aquaman's girlfriend in a spectral wedding dress. Why? Oh, the regular reason -- because it looks weird, and because someone figured that there must be a better way to make your fish tank look haunted without turning off the filter and going away for a week.

Janna Morrison
Either that or someone really wanted a pet that looks like Chinese egg drop soup.

The fish were created by Japanese breeders who mixed sturdy Indonesian carp with traditional koi, in order to toughen up the latter. Unfortunate, then, that they created an animal that seemingly can't come into contact with anything harder than used tissue paper without looking like it just went through a commercial blender.

The sorcery of making fish into underwater phantoms of pointlessness has also been performed oncertain varieties of betta fish, those small, brightly colored assholes at the pet store that must be sequestered in tiny plastic cups to stop them from murdering each other. The result can most aptly be described as an angry, swimming doily.

#1. Tumor Fish

OK, that's not the official name. We're creating an umbrella term for all of these varieties of fish with weird-ass growths on their faces that, once again, breeders have put there on purpose.

The first fish in this selection from the upcoming Finding Nemo/The Thing crossover is called the "pom pom." Its "eye crust" is what fish enthusiasts call the "nasal bouquet," which is actually the fish's septa, bred to explode out of its face in tight little orbs that make it look like it stifled one too many sneezes. Since their heads look like a buffet of lightly grilled cauliflower, it's recommended that they be kept away from things they can bump into.

Other masterworks of cranial tinkering in fish include the gamma ray-enhanced supervillain look of the oranda:

They're believed to be the first goldfish bred to have a "wen" or "hood," which is a very charitable way to describe the red/orange growth on their heads. The bulb does not appear until the fish is 2 or 3 years old and, according to experts, "should not cover the eyes, nose, or mouth of the fish." Not because breeders care about the well-being of their pets but because orandas with growths covering their whole heads would technically be "lionhead" fish.

And speaking of horribly misleading euphemisms, let us introduce you to the flowerhorn cichlid, a bizarre Malaysian fish with a balloon forehead, also known as a "nuchal hump," that makes it look like the result of drunken sex between a Goomba and a Cheep Cheep.

15 Unusual Deep Sea Creatures I doubt You Have ever Seen!

Top 15 Unusual Deep Sea Creatures

The deep seas are often considered to be the last great, unexplored regions on Earth. Every year hundreds of hitherto unknown creatures are discovered ranging from tiny crustaceans to monster fish, and hundreds, even thousands, remain hidden awaiting our cameras. Here are 15 of the most unusual deep water denizens.

15. Ocean Sunfish

The ocean sunfish (Mola mola) is the heaviest bony fish in the world, with an average weight of 1000 kilograms. The species is native to tropical and temperate waters around the globe.

14. Megamouth Shark

This shark is an extremely rare and unusual species of deep water shark. Discovered in 1976, only a few have ever been seen, with 39 specimens known to have been caught or sighted as of 2007 and three recordings on film. Like the basking shark and whale shark, it is a filter feeder, and swims with its enormous mouth wide open, filtering water for plankton and jellyfish.

13. Chimaera

This strange cartilaginous fish uses its long snout to scan over the sea floor for the electrical impulses of its prey that bury in the muddy sea floor, just like a metal detector.

12. Fangtooth

This fish, also called an ogrefish, while understandably named for their disproportionately large, fang-like teeth and unapproachable visage, are actually quite small and harmless to humans: the larger of the two species, the common fangtooth, reaches a maximum length of just 16 centimetres (6 inches); the shortthorn fangooth is about half this size.

11. Pelican Eel

The pelican eel’s most notable feature is its enormous mouth, much larger than its body. The mouth is loosely-hinged, and can be opened wide enough to swallow a fish much larger than itself. The pouch-like lower jaw resembles that of a pelican, hence its name.

10. Blue-Ringed Octopus

The blue-ringed octopus is the size of a golf ball, but its venom is powerful enough to kill humans. There is no known antidote.

9. Viperfish

With a fearsome grin fit for a movie monster, the viperfish is a real-life predator that lurks in one of the world’s most remote locations.

8. Grenadiers

This large species has a rounded head and a mouth which faces forward to catch squid and fish that swim up off the sea floor. As in most other rattails, the males of this species have a special drum machine on their swim bladder that is used to attract females.

7. Vampire Squid

The Vampire Squid is covered entirely in light-producing organs called photophores. The animal has great control over the organs, capable of producing disorienting flashes of light for fractions of a second to several minutes in duration.

6. Glass Squid

With its polka-dot mantle and wide-eyed expression, this glass creature represents a lighter side of the inky ocean deep.

5. Giant Squid

The elusive giant squid, known to science as Architeuthis dux, is one of the world’s largest animals, reaching a length of up to 60 feet. It is the largest known invertebrate in the world.

4. Giant Isopod

These creatures are thought to be abundant in cold, deep waters of the Atlantic and Pacific Ocean.

3. Football Fish

The species holds pride of place as the first deep-sea angler ever found. The original specimen washed ashore in Greenland in 1833; at 22 inches long, it is still the largest one on record. Since no females of this species have ever been found bearing parasitic males, biologists assume they are fertilized by free-swimming mates.

2. Pacific Blackdragon

Female blackdragons are about two feet (61 cm) long and have fanglike teeth and a long chin whisker. The males are small, about three inches (8 cm) in length, and brownish in color. They have no teeth, no chin barbel and no stomach. Unable to eat, the male lives only long enough to mate.

1. Amphipod

The unusual animal, called Phronima, an Amphipod, is one of the many strange species recently found on an expedition to a deep-sea mountain range in the North Atlantic.

20 Animals You Had No Idea Existed!!

Here Are 20 Animals You Had No Idea Existed. Some Of These Will Haunt My Dreams Forever.

1. The Shoebill: This species is also referred to using the names Whalehead or Shoe-billed Stork. The bird has a large shoe-shaped bill, hence its unusual name. The Shoebill lives in tropical east Africa in large swamps from Sudan to Zambia, and it is also known for its unique, blue feathers. These birds are quite large, and they can range in height from 110cm - 152cm.

2. Okapi: The Okapi species is closely related to the giraffe family, not the zebra or even a horse. The Okapi is native to the Democratic Republic of the Congo in Central Africa.

3. The Pacu Fish: The terrifying Pacu Fish, a species native to South America, seem to have a full set of almost humanlike teeth. They are closely related to the piranha and are nicknamed the “ball cutter.”

4. The Panda Ant: Despite the panda ant’s name, this is actually a species of wasp. They are found in Chile, the wingless females resemble large, hairy ants. Even though these little bugs are cute, you may want to stay away, as they have a pretty bad sting.

5. The Narwhal: This is a toothed whale found in the Arctic. It’s one of the most recognizable whales on earth because of its enormous horn - it’s like the unicorn of the ocean.

6. The Red-Lipped Batfish: This frightening-looking fish is found near the Galapagos Islands, but it doesn’t swim. If can be found on the BOTTOM of the ocean, walking on its unusual fins. Don’t ask.

7. The Blind Snake: This unusual snake found in the Amazon has no eyes and its name is Atretochoana Eiselti. It is presumed to be an aquatic, almost eel-like animal due to its fleshy dorsal fin on the body, but most people that know of it just call it a blind snake.

8. The Umbonia Spinosa: Scientists are baffled by this unusual creature, but believe it to be closely related to cicadas. The Umbonia Spinosa use their beaks to pierce plant stems to feed upon their sap. It’s hard to tell what you’re looking at with the spinosa, but it’s easy to tell it’s beautiful.

9. The Lowland Streaked Tenrec: The Lowland Streaked Tenrec is cute, but you have to watch out for this creature found in Madagascar, Africa. It’s covered in tiny little barbs and it is reportedly the only mammal known to use stridulation for generating sound. Usually, only insects and snakes make that kind of noise.

10. The Hummingbird Hawk-Moth: This little creature seems to be a hybrid of a hummingbird, a hawk and a moth (as the name implies) but it's actually just a funny little insect that feeds on flowers.

11. The Blue Dragon: This is the Glaucus Atlanticus, a crazy species of blue sea slug. The Blue Dragon is able to float on the water's surface because of a gas-filled sac in its stomach. This species can be found in the warm ocean waters, so be careful not to step on these beauties.

12. The Peacock Mantis Shrimp: The mantis shrimp is also known as “sea locusts“, “prawn killers” and “thumb splitters”. Their front claws can deliver a punch that is as powerful as a gunshot. The mantis shrimp can’t be kept in normal aquariums, as they punch through other sea life and even the glass.

13. The Venezuelan Poodle Moth: The Venezuelan Poodle Moth was only discovered in 2009. They are found in Venezuela and not much is known about these fuzzy, dog-like moths just yet.

14. The Giant Isopod: This is one the largest species of the existing isopods. It’s so big because some creatures that live on the bottom of the ocean can experience “deep sea gigantism.” This is where the crustacean will grow much larger than its shallow sea dwelling counterparts. They look prehistoric because, honestly, they are. Isopods have been around for a long, long time.

15. The Saiga Antelope: The Saiga Antelope is known for its extremely unusual, over-sized, flexible nose structure. They are critically endangered and it is already completely extinct in China and southwestern Mongolia.

16. The Bush Viper: The Bush Viper lives in the trees of the tropical forests in Africa and it does most of its hunting at night. This snake may look fierce, but it’s actually one of the smallest species of snake, with a maximum length of only 78cm.

17. The Blue Parrotfish: This funny fish is known as a Blue Parrotfish and they average 30-75 cm in length. Some can grow up to 1.2m… probably because the parrotfish spends up to 80% of its time looking for food.

18. The Indian Purple Frog: This rare species of frog commonly found in India is much more bloated and round than its other frog counterparts. The Indian Purple Frog also has a small head and an unusual snout. It is so rare because it only spends TWO WEEKS above ground every year.

19. The Thorny Dragon: The Thorny Dragon is an Australian lizard that resides mostly in the desert and, as the name suggests, looks like a tiny dragon. They are also known as the mountain devil, the thorny lizard, or the moloch. This lizard is covered in sharp spikes, and it uses these to frighten away predators. They can live up to 20 years, more than most lizards.

20. The Sea Pig: The sea pig is closely related to a sea cucumber (whoever named sea creatures must have a sense of humor, since they never look like what they are named after). They have enlarged tube feet and live on deep ocean bottoms. Luckily, you’ll never run into one of these yourself.

These aren't your normal zoo animals.